Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: I receive a lot of unwanted telephone calls from telemarketers and real estate buyers who are seeking to buy my house. Many of these callers start out by asking for me by name and then inquiring how I am doing.
Even knowing that most people who ask how I am doing aren’t actually seeking a truthful or complete answer, I still feel uncomfortable responding to what feels like a personal question from someone with whom I have no personal relationship. I don’t feel that comfortable making a reciprocal inquiry into their well-being, either.
In the situation you cite, a perfectly proper response to the question “How are you doing?” is, “May I please know what you are calling in reference to?” If the answer is, “Are you interested in saving money on a new roof?,” there is nothing rude about responding, “Thank you, no, goodbye” and hanging up.DEAR MISS MANNERS: I entertained a cousin and her husband on short notice. They were in town for another event and wanted to stop by to say hello.
My father was a complete gentleman every single day of his life. He was never abusive mentally, physically or verbally to any of us. He provided for our welfare his entire life, and I feel extremely lucky to have had him as a role model for my choice in men.
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