Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: My wife and I enjoy riding a tandem bicycle and have done so for many years and miles, both near our home and in far-flung locations. I ride in the front as the “pilot,” and my wife is the “stoker” behind me.
Having encountered this phenomenon too many times to count, neither of us finds it within ourselves to share in the amusement. On the contrary, as my wife takes her role in our team effort seriously and is quite fit, we both struggle to avoid succumbing to irritation. The most common experience for me is that the waitstaff will come to the table, pitcher in hand, and immediately pour water for everyone. I know he or she is trying to be accommodating, but most often, I prefer no ice. Sometimes I would like sparkling water, if they have it.When there is a glass of ice water already poured for me, should I just accept it, or should I say something? I have spoken up in the past, but I feel like a difficult patron.
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