Miss Manners: ‘Thank you’ works for any compliment--sincere or not
What is an appropriate and polite response to a compliment that I know is disingenuous? And upon receiving such a compliment, am I required to return one that is equally disingenuous?
I ask because someone I know invariably compliments me on something I’m wearing, my hair, etc. I’m not a stylish person and my hair tends to be a mess. Her compliments have the consequence of making me feel self-conscious, looked-over and, ultimately, lied to.The safe answer is, of course, “Thank you,” which Miss Manners points out can be delivered in a way that subtly undercuts the literal words.
Mind you, she does not recommend such an approach. The point about ambiguously delivered compliments is that they are ambiguous -- and can be misread. Better to return genuine thanks to someone who appreciates messy hair than to insult someone who does not.If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation.
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