Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
My husband’s close relative died. We found out by chance because an announcement appeared on our social media feeds. We did not receive a private message, a text or a phone call. We don’t use social media very often; if we hadn’t seen the announcement, we wouldn’t have known.
They responded that I was rude and selfish. They said that they, the bereaved party who organized the funeral and wake, were entitled to manage it in a way that made their grief easier to bear. Then they blocked me on social media, which is fine with me. Social media announcements that close relatives may see by chance are not polite, in my view. I’ll concede that I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it, especially since they’re my in-laws, but isn’t it fundamentally rude not to inform family members directly that someone has died?: One is likely to stumble when claiming the moral high ground too soon after committing the almost unpardonably rude act of scolding the chief mourners for their handling of the death announcements.
I also understand that retail employees are under pressure to offer their store’s credit card to customers, and do their best to have the customer fill out an application right there, often in front of other customers. I have known of employees being disciplined if they do not succeed at this secondary sale . Such punishment may mean their hours are drastically cut or that they are placed on undesirable shifts.
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