Letter writer was close to a work friend, until they hosted her and she complained constantly.
The politics of my department are deeply unhealthy, and the toxic environment has brought me closer to another junior staff member. Over the past four years, the two of us have bounced ideas off each other and commiserated over some of the nonsense that is permitted in our department. When I'm in town for work, we always go out for dinner and usually have fun, as we share a similar sense of humor.
When I invited my colleague to a conference taking place in my state, she and her husband stayed with my family for two nights. I felt we were hospitable, but there was zero graciousness on my colleague's side. Rather, there was a lot of complaining about how unwell she felt, about her various health complications, about other issues in her life, degrading comments about the state where we live — a general stream of negativity.
The other drawback is that they are hard to shake when you find them tiresome. Miss Manners realizes her solution may come as a surprise, which is to steer the conversation back toward work — and to gradually reduce your off-hours availability.I was invited to attend a church function with a friend.
Mind you, there were no ceremonies taking place at the time; it was strictly a tour. I have a deep voice that tends to resonate, but I didn't feel as if I were “shouting to the heavens” — simply noting my awe in something slightly louder than “library voice.” I was raised to believe that shushing someone is innately rude and tactless, and I told my friend as much. She told me I was reacting like a sulking child. Could you please offer your thoughts on the situation from a mannerly point of view?But that was not your question, was it? The guide may have overstepped, but she may also, like a librarian, have been exercising reasonable custodial authority in shushing unruly guests.
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