Dear Deidre on relationships, jealousy and envy
He never told me he was married or that he had a family.He is everything I ever wanted — really fit, successful and funny. Not to mention we have an amazing time in bed together.We’re both in our early 40s and have worked together for five years.
Our affair started two years ago.Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors. I only discovered he was married when his wife called me in tears. She had found messages between us.She sent me family photos showing their two little boys, who are five and three.After his wife told me everything, we didn’t talk for two months.He was so sincere and I knew I wouldn’t be able to shut him out. I let him in and we rekindled our affair passionately. Even though it doesn’t sit easily with me, my feelings for him are so strong and I haven’t found the strength to do the right thing. He has even cried in bed saying I’m his perfect woman and he loves me more than his wife. But still he gets up and goes home to her. I’m trying to look for another job, so I don’t have to see him on a daily basis. That way I figure I may be able to get away. You will only become more emotionally attached to him, which will cause you further distress long term. You’re already feeling extremely guilty because you have spoken to his wife. This affair could also be affecting their children as well. Ultimately, the best thing you can do is end this relationship and put some serious distance between both of you.He is married and seems to have little intention of genuinely sorting out this mess.If he had planned to leave his wife, he would have done it by this point. Please value yourself and think about the kind of relationship you want. You deserve someone kind, loving – and available.
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