'My fiance seemed perfect - but he wanted to control me' One woman's story of living with emotional abuse
"If you find yourself walking on eggshells, or changing your behaviour to keep him happy, then you may be in an abusive relationship. Healthy relationships are built on mutual trust and respect, not power and control."One day the following week he came home from work and said that I made him want to kill himself. He talked about going to hospital, but didn't because he was working the next day. This already wasn't completely unexpected.
I'd tell myself that all couples argue, it's never going to be perfect. But then not all boyfriends call you a slut and tell you to get out of their house. I made my career fit around his, and arranged any work around his schedule so I could go and visit him if he was away. After we got engaged, he told me to quit my side-job, which I enjoyed for its social side, and he said he'd put £2,000 in my bank account. I texted my friend about this, and she told me not to because I needed my independence. I didn't, but then two months later I did - he'd been drip-feeding me reasons and I complied. Looking back that makes me feel so crazy.
I knew I had to leave before he came home, because if I came into contact with him face-to-face, he would convince me to stay. He'd tell me that we could work it out. At the end, nothing felt like it was mine any more, not even my thoughts. I've spent a long time thinking about him from the day I met him. All the time, my thoughts drift back to him even now. I hate the fact that he had that hold over me.
A few times during our relationship I wanted to call Women's Aid to speak to them about what was happening to me, but not feeling like I was worthy and it wasn't justified. The abuse wasn't"bad enough" because he didn't hit me.
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