The commonness of our experiences isn’t something to be celebrated or used as comfort. It’s an indictment on the entire healthcare system.
When I was 11, I was convinced I would one day have twin boys that I’d name “TreyVaughn” and “TayShawn.” Now, those names exist solely for comedic and nostalgic reasons on a list of baby names on the notes app on my phone that I’ve been adding to, subtracting from, tweaking and perfecting for over a decade. Even during the years I was certain Ianymore, when a baby was the furthest thing from my mind, the list continued. I’d hear a name, add it to the list.
The bleeding started at eight weeks. It was slow at first. Spotting is normal, said Google. My doctor agreed. It stopped a couple days later. Josh, the eternal optimist, said he was sure everything was OK. He was still in St. John’s and I was back in Toronto. I was still the one reminding us not to get too excited but we were past that. We were both daydreaming about a life as parents — about sitting in the stands cheering for a little person made from our love. We couldn’t help it.
Miscarriages are common. About 10 to 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage . And new research from 2021 suggests thatThe fact that miscarriages are common is one of the only widely known facts about them we talk about openly. When you’re having one, you hear it even more. The nurse said it as I was getting blood drawn. When my doctor prescribed pills to help with the pain, the pharmacist said it again. My parents, who are both retired medical professionals, also said it.
During my second trip to the emergency room after the bleeding and cramping wouldn’t stop, the doctor on-call read my ultrasound results out loud to me in a hallway with other patients present, as he was rushing to be somewhere else: “Uh, yeah, you have fibroids. They’re pretty common.” What he left unsaid is that fibroids are also veryamong Black women and, in some cases, can cause miscarriages.
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