EXCLUSIVE: PMDD is a severe form of PMS that causes a chemical reaction in the brain to hormones. Josie Burden suffered mentally and physically for two decades before diagnosis
After suffering for years, Vicky Pattison was recently diagnosed with PMDD, a severe form of PMS that causes a chemical reaction in the brain to hormones during the luteal phase of the cycle, between ovulation and menstruation.
I developed extreme anxiety, became really withdrawn and even had suicidal thoughts. There was a pattern to this. I’d feel normal for two weeks of the month and completely unwell the other two. I was given mood stabilisers and that’s when I was probably at my most sane. For two years, I held down a job in retail. But then, because I was no longer having seizures, I came off the mood stabilisers and became unwell again. After that, I was either out of work or had long-term absences.
It became obvious, to me and everyone around me, that I was having a mental breakdown and I had to tell someone I felt actively suicidal because it got to the point where I thought ‘I have to say this out loud or it's going to happen.’ We rang the perinatal services and told them I really needed help.
She saw my medical history, rather than me, as complex and I finally felt like it wasn’t all my fault. I had blood tests, which showed I had premature ovarian insufficiency and a severe lack of oestrogen – after I had Aubrey, the doctor had put me on a progestogen only Pill, which turned out to be catastrophic.
No one wants to go into menopause surgically and 20 years too early and it meant Aubrey would be my only child, but it shows just how unwell I was. I was desperate and there was no other choice.
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