Should we eat out to help out, or stay home to be safe? Should we bring back the travel economy, or view all holidays as an inherent risk?
All I know is that everything that previously made my life joyous; bars, parties, travel, hugs, restaurants, lazy afternoons and all-night parties with friends, all now feel illicit. Going back to my life feels somehow wrong. It feels like breaking the rules. I have lost my lockdown virtue and now I feel like the naughtiest kid in school. Everything I’m doing, it all feels like I’m about to get caught, about to get slammed into detention.
Maybe it’s because we know we’re all just kidding ourselves, that this is just a brief respite before a second wave. Perhaps we know that, in reality, we probably shouldn’t be doing any of this, no matter how much the government wants to save the economy. Or maybe it’s the awful realisation that life is going to be this way for a while yet, and that the nostalgia I’m clinging to - is not actually the virtue of lockdown at all - but the freedom of my life before it.
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