Personal Perspective: Even the healthiest relationships can trigger the emotional wounds of our past, causing us to feel scared, distrustful, or afraid of abandonment.
Because of our past, we might be afraid of being abandoned in relationships.I married an older man—nearly 18 years older, in fact. And most of the time, I completely forget about our age difference, except when it’s David’s birthday, which it will be later this month., holding hands, and kissing , the week before his birthday I am traditionally quiet. Reserved. Pensive., I am super skilled at spotting my triggers, and David’s birthday is a huge one for me and my old stories of abandonment.
Granted, there are no guarantees on life, health, or who will go first, but my wounded inner child doesn’t register logic. She only knows how she feels.When I met David I knew I was going to marry him. Our chemistry was so palpable that strangers would approach us and tell us how perfect we were together. And when a mutual friend heard that we got married, she wrote us a note that read, “If anyone should be married it is the two of you. May your love always steam up the car windows.”tribulations, such as fending off the naysayers who balked at our age difference. United against the world, our passion fueled us beyond everyday negativity.We found a deeper, more profound bond called compassion.
And then there are times for compassion: throwing in the anchor and holding steady. For in this yin and yang dynamic of true love, there cannot be one without the other.He loves with all of his being and plays with abandon.He’s taught me that love is real and reminds me every day that we’re worth fighting for—that I’m worth fighting for.And in this emotional cocoon he’s created for us, I’ve felt safe to journey inward and do the hard work of healing my wounded heart.
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