A Personal Perspective: Eventually, in grief, we have to start letting go of the past and embracing change for the future. It's part of healing, but that doesn't mean it's easy.
In adjusting to loss, you may have to rediscover who you are, minus your loved one.It had been immobile in my driveway for nearly four years, but I finally sold Tom’s truck, a Ford F150, which he had bought in 1993. He called it Big Black and drove it until it was a jalopy.
“You’ll see it driving around the neighborhood,” he said. How odd will that be? Odd, but good. Better Big Black have a new life than be crushed into scrap. Some mementos of our past together feel precious now, others irrelevant. I am deciding what in the house was his taste and what is mine—what do I want to keep, what no longer suits my vision? When you are together as long as Tom and I, you start forgetting where the other person ends and you begin. Your edges blur. In addition, it’s easy just to let the house be—let it develop in layers, like geological strata. Now, I am mining the layers, separating gold from slag..
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