QUENTIN LETTS: It went on a bit and things became weepy towards the end. He'd had a wonderful time and was adamant he felt no ill-will to anyone.
Tissues plus a Blankety Blank chequebook and pen for Mr Yousaf, please. Scotland's First Minister quit with a midday speech at Edinburgh 's Bute House, his official residence.
A noonday execution. It happened in the Georgian house's drawing room. 'Withdrawing rooms', they used to be called and Mr Yousaf, 39, was withdrawing from his duties. 'Afore ye go' is the Highlands expression when they press another quarter-pint of whisky in your hand as you're trying to escape. Afore Humza went he gave this 11-minute speech. Any longer and Sky News would have been asking him to incorporate an ad break.
He did 11 minutes of ruefulness. Soupier than borscht it was. But if the intention was to earn sympathy it probably worked, because normal people are more generous than journalists Advertisement The TV news channels were in overdrive, running interviews with gobbling Scots politics pundits listing various non-entities who could succeed the toppled Yousaf. Alex Salmond popped up, trying not to gloat. He won't keep his head still, Salmond. Nor would Nicola Sturgeon, who wobbled her bean like Ronald Reagan. Mr Yousaf was an inveterate darter and jinker, too. It just makes them resemble fighting pheasants.
Cue the violins, Mantovani. Mr Yousaf called Scotland 'the only country I will ever call home' and did a little riff about how 'people who looked like me' never used to hold positions of power but now we had a United Kingdom where minorities were in several top roles. 'To my SNP family, I will always be with you,' said our departing hero, like some Viking Jarl being tugged out to his funeral longboat. Hang on, mate, you're only 39.
Nicola Sturgeon wobbled her bean like Ronald Reagan. Mr Yousaf was an inveterate darter and jinker, too. It just makes them resemble fighting pheasants
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