Read the first chapter of Everything We Never Said, Sloan Harlow's buzzy contemporary YA thriller about grief and forbidden love.
, a contemporary YA novel from debut author Sloan Harlow that seems destined for BookTok fame thanks to its twisty narrative, forbidden love story, and propulsive narrative feel.
Grief has opened a canyon between me and that stupid girl from a year ago, whose greatest disasters were bad eyeliner and flyaways. How I hate her.Walking back into the halls of North Davis High, I feel like I’m not returning as Ella, but as Shadow Ella, the living ghost girl. The thought feels like a paper cut on my heart. I wish I were a ghost. Maybe then I could stretch across the realms and actually still talk to Hayley. Tell her the important things.
Which is why this is the exact moment Sawyer walks into view. There he is, at the end of the hall, towering above Mike Lim as they discuss something that has Sawyer’s handsome face breaking out into a crooked grin. I should hold his gaze. I should let his judgment sear me. It’s what I deserve, for what I stole from him. From her.
He watches me walk away, concern furrowing his brow. It’s so kind, how he’s worried. How he wants to help. Don’t bother, Mr. Wilkens, I should tell him. Save your effort and time for students who aren’t lost causes. Students who deserve it.For the entire day, I try to be invisible. I try to ignore the accusing glares and the soft stares of sympathy, eyes full of pity. But it’s impossible. When I walk by a crowd of girls at the water fountain, a hush falls over them.
Beth pouts, leaning back against Rachael, and Nia shakes her head, shooting me an apologetic look. “We just wanted to see how you were doing, Ella. I mean, other than the obvious.” Nia glares at his retreating form but doesn’t push it. For once, I’m grateful that Scott’s sort of a dick.Just like Mr. Wilkens, they take me gently by the elbow, their voices low, and ask me how I’m doing.
“I just wanted to give you something real quick.” She holds up a finger, and then reappears a moment later with a small cardboard box in her hands. On the side, handwritten in Sharpie, are the words ella and hayley. Inside are two handmade ceramic mugs.“I thought you might want these,” Ms. Langley whispers, sounding nearly as sad as I feel. “They didn’t get fired in the kiln until after . . . Well, I’ve been holding on to them for you.”It had been Hayley’s idea to make mugs for each other.
One moment, there are headlights in front of me, a bus barreling at my face. There are screams, the bellowing of a horn like a great dragon. My heart is in my throat, my last thought, Protect the mugs, and then I’m flying backward.I slam back into something solid. My brain thinks, ridiculously, of a brick wall, but this wall is warm and has a heartbeat. Someone pulled me out of the way. Someone saved me.“Sawyer!” I gasp, stumbling out of his arms to face him.
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