It’s the first time in years he’s stepped foot in Al Noor Mosque, one of two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand, targeted by a White supremacist on March 15, 2019. The other was Linwood Islamic Centre. The shootings killed 51 people, the youngest just 3-years old.
Sitting side by side in the mosque’s meeting room, Temel Ataçocuğu and Imam Gamal Fouda hunch over in laughter. To an outsider, they look like two old friends bonding over an inside joke. Beneath the table, though, Ataçocuğu’s knees bounce nervously. His hands shake. His mouth is dry. “We are experienced now,” he says, the lightness in his voice defying his anxious glances toward the doors and windows.
Like the wilting cucumber plant in his garden, nearly dead but slowly returning to its once vibrant form, Ataçocuğu knows he must find a way to water his spirit, lean toward the light and bloom. Playing soccer again The only time Ataçocuğu’s flashbacks subside is when he’s on the soccer field. Only there does he no longer hear the sound of the clock that kept tick, tick, ticking between pauses in gunfire or see shadows of an armed man dressed in tactical gear out the corner of his eye.
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