Greetings, comrades! It is I, El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxurious underground bunker beneath the streets of Havana, where I am currently hiding from the American CIA agents who are still upset about that time I replaced all their coffee with decaf.
But fear not, for even in these trying times, your El Presidente remains dedicated to bringing you the hottest wrestling news! Ricochet displays his talents in WWE Today, I have some electrifying information that will surely make you leap higher than my good friend Kim Jong-un after his third glass of contraband Coca-Cola.
And let us not forget, comrades, the match that has caught my eye like a shiny new pair of Gucci loafers in a capitalist shop window: the Capitalist American Champion MJF defending against Will Ospreay. Now, I know what you're thinking – 'El Presidente, how can you support a championship with 'Capitalist' in the title?' Well, comrades, sometimes we must embrace the tools of our enemies to destroy them from within.
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