From the first to time through to the menopause, expert advice on how to improve your sex life – no matter your age, experience or desire
, with late twentysomethings having the most sex. But by our late 30s, four in 10 report having not had sex in the past week, and around a fifth of 40 to 44-year-olds aren’t having sex at all.
Penetrative sex – the insertion of part of your body into part of someone else’s, or vice versa – isn’t something to “get over with”. You’re much more likely to have a good time if you take the opposite approach. Remember, it’s the first time – it doesn’t have to be the best time. You’re on the nursery slopes. Relationship and psychosexual therapistsuggests concentrating on non-penetrative sex for a while first. “Seeing an aroused penis for the first time can be a shock,” she says.
To enjoy it, you’ll need to be clear about what you like and dislike: think about how adventurous you want to be, and dare to try something new. This kind of sex will all be about what happens in the moment: your partner doesn’t know you. Be bold! Have fun! Experiment, and find out new things about yourself.Desire and arousal are different things, says Campbell, and understanding this helps in understanding sex in a long-term relationship.
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