'She was not a phase,' a writer shares about her first love - Preen.ph

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'She was not a phase,' a writer shares about her first love - Preen.ph
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'I want to make this confession for only recently was I convinced that I did not sin.' | via preenph

Mia must have noticed my aversion to her because by sixth grade, she did not sit next to me anymore. The last time I remembered holding her was when she was crying over being rejected by her male crush due to her developing prepubescent body odor. I hugged her, assuring her that it was okay. “I’m still here,” I told her softly. She pushed me and said, “You’re not a real boy!” Man, that broke me.

College, on the other hand, was better. I saw more types of girls and was fascinated by them anew, with how they looked, what they wore, how they maintained such clean feet even while wearing flip flops around the campus. I began to think of Mia again.One time, I was learning my way around Friendster or Facebook, I don’t remember, when I stumbled on her profile. She was an out lesbian and she had a butch girlfriend. They posted a lot of sexy poses together.

Long story short, the female colleague I was falling for happened to be as straight as a pole and I ended up in a relationship with this guy for about five years which then led to my giving birth to a beautiful daughter. Unfortunately, he died of an accident before I even delivered the baby. I had everything figured out with him. In a single moment, my world came crashing down. In a single crashing moment, I was widowed before 30.

Out of the blue, I noticed a change in her last name. I wondered why I didn’t notice it earlier. This prompted me to check her profile: Mia just got f*cking married to a guy! I tried to hide my shock, disappointment and utter sadness by saying, “Hey! You got married! You didn’t say! Congratulations!”Mia was going to be a mother, too! As if on impulse, all my negative emotions vanished and were replaced with genuine happiness for her.

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