Cocaine-fuelled fish and crabs high on contraceptive pill are swarming UK coast after sewage spills
WE were told this week that if we increase the amount of fish we eat by just one portion a week, we will never be ill and that this will save the NHS a massive £600million a year.
Let me explain. The sewage that’s flooding into our waterways — partly because it hasn’t stopped raining since December 8, but mostly because the water companies are fairly useless — has obviously passed through our bodies.But now, millions of us take antidepressants and ecstasy. This means that all our sea creatures are down there now, talking about themselves and wondering, having consumed so much estrogen, whether it might be a good idea to transition.Shellfish have always been my favourite food.
Face fungus is allowed in the Navy and the Air Force, and it’s pretty much compulsory in the Special Forces, but until now, the nation’s squaddies and Nigels have had to be clean shaven.welcomed the decision, saying that the ban was “ridiculous” because people are perfectly capable of fighting with beards. But he’s wrong.
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