'Sleepwalking means I don’t trust myself when I go to bed' 💬 'My sleep has long been troubled, populated by night-time hallucinations, choking paralysis, strange half-awake dreams'
These vivid dreams and hallucinatory phenomena frighten me, and the experience lingers ghost-like for most of the following day. When I open my eyes to see an imaginary spider dangling inches above my head, the delusion lasts mere seconds. I may have done something daft like commando-roll off my mattress, but I’m at least partially awake through it and aware enough of what I’m doing that I remember it.
I’m sure I’d never do it, but one of my greatest fears at bedtime – more than feeling ghostly hands around my neck, more than having vivid nightmares – is that I’ll wake up somewhere else, away from my locked flat, without my keys. Whenever I go to sleep, I plan ahead for what I would do if this happened. To sleepwalk is to never fully trust yourself.
In the Victorian era, as interest in the mind and consciousness grew, criminal cases involving supposed sleepwalkers were treated with new ideas about culpability. In 1876, a woman experiencing a delusional, sleepwalking state, believed her baby’s hand to be a loaf of bread and cut it off. The baby didn’t survive.
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