You don’t need to “Be Strong” when you’re grieving but reach out to others for support. If the grief gets too much, consider talking to a counselor.
Disenfranchised grief is grief that’s not always recognized by others or society, such as pet loss.You Don’t Need to Be Strong When You’re Grieving
Recently, upon hearing that my beloved golden retriever had died, an otherwise amiable and well-meaning person teared up a bit and said, “Be strong.” While there may be, telling the grieving person to be strong is one of the worst responses a person can have. It effectively shuts down the grieving person’s emotions. While this may make the situation more comfortable or tolerable for the listening individual, it definitely does not benefit a person who is grieving.
As a psychologist as well as a human being who has experienced significant losses in recent times, I can tell you that this is not what you want to say in this situation.There are many types of emotional loss and situations we grieve. Grieving over the loss of a loved one, whether a person or a beloved pet, is a normal human response.
Expect grief to come in waves. Allowing ourselves our sadness, tears, memories—and yes, deep grief—is part of what makes us sentient beings. Burying one’s pain and grief is both emotionally and physically unhealthy. In fact, the mind-body link has been well-demonstrated, and we’ve only begun to touch the tip of the iceberg in this field of study.We’ve all been guilty of burying our feelings and pain at some point, if only for a moment or two.
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