Tesla recently sought shareholder approval to restore Elon Musk’s $56 billion pay package, which was rejected by a Delaware judge. The Onion asked Tesla fans to explain why Elon Musk deserves the $56 billion payout.
Paul Suchecki , Paralegal “If the inventor of the automobile doesn’t deserve $56 billion, who does?” Tyrone Jackson , Brewmaster “Treatments for whatever makes him like that are probably pretty expensive.” Miguel Santos , Cybersecurity Analyst “I’m not sure why he deserves it, but my Neuralink implant is telling me to keep killing until he gets it.” Greg Ipser , Computer Programmer “Ignoring, verbally abusing, and publicly disowning his 10 kids is more expensive than you think.
” Scott Robinson, Unemployed “After child support, he’d still have, like, $20 to spend on something fun.” Nolan Mercer, Student “Who else are you going to give all that money to? The workers?” Elijah Carter, Environmental Scientist “He just seems so sad in all the pictures. Maybe this will cheer him up?” Byron Clark, Psychologist “I’m pretty sure his birthday is coming up soon.” Daniel Green, Pastry Chef “The price of ketamine has gone up a lot recently.
TESLA Leo Waltham Neuralink Biggest Shortcomings Of Tesla’S Self Elijah Carter Ryan Baker Malik Crawford Paul Suchecki Nolan Mercer Luca Rossi Glenn Morris Tyrone Jackson Claudia Reichardt Lena Wong Sasha Kastelman Cybersecurity Scott Robinson Byron Clark George Ruiz Tesla Inc. Miguel Santos Daniel Green Greg Ipser Rosemary Jacobson The Onion
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