In James Packer’s powder room, I looked in the mirror and looking back at me were the saddest, loneliest eyes I had ever seen.
I sat in my corner office on the top floor of one of the most beautiful office buildings in Sydney, staring out over the Sydney Harbour Bridge and Opera House. My assistant handed me a stunning black lace Collette Dinnigan cocktail dress and strappy Jimmy Choo shoes to get changed into.
It was a heady experience being surrounded by so much masculine intellectual horsepower. I had always been both attracted to and intimidated by intellect — especially intellectual men. And with that, I often underestimated and undervalued my own skills, talents and intellectual capacity. The men I was working with were, unquestionably, some of the brightest around.
I had a husband who had been a vet and was now an investment banker — what a combo! A gorgeous, healthy, 14-month-old son. We were building a beautiful, big home on the leafy, lower north shore. I had all the material things I could want. I drove a brand-new BMW, for which I had paid cash with my latest bonus. I wore all the designer labels and sat at the front of the plane when I travelled.
A couple of years later, after being offered a lucrative voluntary redundancy and walking away from my corporate career thinking I was financially secure and needed a “bit of a break”, I spent a week at a health retreat. They had a labyrinth, and while I was not particularly spiritual at the time, I decided to do a bit of a ceremony for myself. Late at night, under a full moon, I walked the labyrinth, which slowly wound its way to the top of a small hill.
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