“Most of the time, I don’t even need to have sex; I just need to feel wanted.”
In many ways, I haven’t changed. Needing to have sex, or to be someone people want to have sex with, guides so many of the decisions I make in my life. Like, I always find it confusing when people ask that question “Would you rather have food or sex?” because to me the answer is obvious. Most people always say they’d rather have food, but I always say sex because I’m not sure how to make sense of myself without it, or even just the possibility of it.
It is working in a lot of ways. I get more attention than I used to. Most of the time, I don’t even need to have sex; I just need to feel desired. It’s so delicious to me, that moment when you’re at a bar or party, and they look over at you for a little bit too long, and you turn back to your friends and you’re talking and laughing but it’s more like you’re a person doing an impression of someone talking and laughing because you’re poised and ready in case they look over again.
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