“Baby Reindeer” accurately portrays the relentless intrusion into another person’s life and the damage it causes to the victims and the people around them.
and thought it was a good depiction of a particular type of stalker. My primary area of research is stalking and I mostly work with perpetrators, to help them understand the motivations behind their behaviour and find effective ways of making them stop.: the rejected stalker, the resentful stalker, the intimacy-seeking stalker, the incompetent suitor and the predator.
The incompetent suitor type tends to be younger – their behaviour emerges in their early 20s, as they’re leaving home and trying to develop relationship skills. Their conduct is characterised by a lack of social skills and understanding of appropriate social behaviour. They won’t pick up on signs of disinterest and often engage in stuff that is socially unacceptable and can terrify people.
They might almost reinterpret the victim’s behaviour and tell themselves: “Well, you care enough to tell me to go away, maybe that’s a sign you’re still interested?” They are in such a state of emotional distress that they will do anything to relieve it: they are using the victim as an external coping mechanism. It is rigid, unhelpful and damaging to themselves as well as the victim, but they see it as a way of relieving their pain.
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