The greatest thing you can do for a friend is to tell them about your dismal sex life 🖊️ RebeccaCNReid via ipaperviews
on Friday, Ryan was asked how often she and husband Bobby Kootstra have sex, she replied, “Not very often… I log it because I’m always trying to conceive! Day to day we’re back and forth about having more babies.”
It probably shouldn’t be a newsflash that a couple with three kids, two of whom are under two, as well as busy careers and all the standard pressures of human life, aren’t making much time to shag. But there’s a weird cult of silence about having a fallow period in your sex life, and it’s self-fulfilling.
The more you think that your friends are all having rampant sex with their other halves, the less likely you are to admit that you’re not, and so you engineer a sort of Emperor’s New Clothes effect, where everyone feels like they’re the only one who isn’t having oodles of really gratifying sex with their partner, and no one wants to admit it.
Several times in the past few years I’ve been at a social event where someone has drunkenly confessed that they’re not having much sex with their partner. Every time I’ve seen it happen, at least one other person – usually more than one – will chime in: “Oh my God, me TOO!” The relief on a person’s face when they find out that they’re not the only one who hasn’t had sex for a while is weirdly sort of beautiful to behold.
It creates an instant bond, and it’s an act of generosity. I’ve found it also happens in other instances too. Whenever I talk
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