LGBTQ+ therapists share their tips for navigating and dealing with these office interactions.
Microaggressions at work can be destabilising and dispiriting. Seeking community afterward is important for healing.
Williams, who uses she/they pronouns, said there can be a lot of work environments where colleagues feel “super entitled to personal information about you outside of work.” This can can then lead to “people not knowing how to navigate those conversations for fear of being ostracised by not sharing or participating, and also ostracised by participating and then not participating with the right information,” she noted.
In these cases, it can help for allies to call out these invalidations so that the burden is not on LGBTQ+ professionals. “You can object to jokes or off-colour remarks or even certain policies without being queer yourself,” Stanizai said.And for queer professionals who worry they are making a big deal out of nothing, Stanizai suggested that they affirm their own feelings. “I just help remind them: ‘Yeah, it’s OK to be bothered by this. Your feelings count.
If you want to push back against the request directly, you could say, “Hey, I know this is one of the identities that I hold, but I don’t feel comfortable being the spokesperson on this,” Williams suggested. After a microaggression happens, ask yourself, “One, how am I feeling right now, and two, what do I need in order for that feeling to be cared for?” McCullough said. “Maybe in a work environment that’s leaving the room, taking a walk around the block, getting a delicious snack or a cup of coffee.”“It helps people a lot when they have someone at work that can kind of witness or understand just to validate, like, ‘Yeah, I heard that too, and that wasn’t cool,’” Stanizai said.
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