A humorous comparison of the swiftness of a private construction project versus the drawn-out process of relocating endangered snails by a government agency.
The builders arrive early each morning and put in a full day\u2019s graft, and consequently it\u2019s taken less than two years to erect several large houses, multiple blocks of flats, a children\u2019s play area and a beautifully landscaped park. The Acle Straight — a 6.8-mile stretch of the A47 near Great Yarmouth in Norfolk — is known to be dangerous for motorists.
No prizes for guessing that it\u2019s a private contractor, for whom reliability and efficiency is the key to turning a profit as soon as possible. Compare and contrast this impressive project with pretty much anything that involves the dead hand of the state. This week, a headline caught my eye that seemed so ludicrous I had to re-read the article a couple of times to check it was true. Campaigners successfully argued it should be made into a dual carriageway, but just as work started in 2015 Brian from The Magic Roundabout was found to be living in the water. So, a year later, scientists working for \u201cgovernment adviser\u201d Natural England started a study aimed at relocating the endangered population of \u201clittle whirlpool ramshorn snails\u201d, which was due to finish by 2019 but was then extended to 2025. Graham Plant, chairman of the A47 Alliance, says: \u201cIt seems that Natural England can take as much time as they like and in the meantime we see people die on the Acle Straight. \u201d I think we can all agree, nine years to relocate a snail seems a little excessive. Last year, a young male rhino needed to be relocated so he could find a mate, and I was invited to watch. An expert sniper fired a sedative dart into his thigh, two vets checked him over, then a team of volunteers from a wildlife charity helped manoeuvre him into a crate while he was still groggy. So if a 3000kg rhino can be relocated that quickly, why does it take the best part of a decade to find a snail somewhere else to live? Is it because, when your efficiency has little or no bearing on your pay cheque, there\u2019s little need for urgency in such matters? Similarly, how many times has your journey been hampered by roadworks which, when you finally edge past them after 48 hours of queuing, have absolutely no one working on them? Even more infuriatingly, some have been blocked off by the cone department (or whatever they\u2019re called) seven years before the gas/drains/cable team turns up to dig another hole where a different utility company recently finished its two-year project and had just filled it in. Sometimes, it\u2019s pavement repair and some bright spark has decided that one lane of the road should be blocked off for a century before work even starts. I have lost count of the times I mutter — all together now — \u201cJust put the cones/barriers out on the day work starts and pay alternating teams to work 24/7 until it\u2019s done.\u201d Let\u2019s put it this way. If it was a private road and employees were being made late for work by necessary repairs, it would be finished in a day.
GOVERNMENT EFFICIENCY PRIVATE CONTRACTS CONSTRUCTION ENVIRONMENTAL REGULATIONS ANIMAL RELOCATION
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