A woman describes her year-long experiment to prioritize her sexual satisfaction, leading to unexpected consequences.
It’s not easy to straight up tell a lover you aren’t enjoying their technique or ask them to do something else, but I did it to speak up for what I want in the sack and to not fake orgasms. Twelve months on and the question is, did I manage to do it?, or to enter into any kind of adult shenanigans where my orgasm seemed unlikely has meant that this year, I haven’t had much sex at all.as a single woman is my Everest. This is especially true if you are not in the market for anything long term.
“No, I don’t want to do this again.” “No, I don’t want to meet your friends.” “No, I am not interested in investing in your crypto scheme,” etc. I just want some good sex, a good laugh, and then to part on friendly terms. You live your life, I’ll live mine, and maybe we’ll do it again somewhere down the line. A simple enough request, but not one that is often realised. If you have ever tried explaining where the clitoris is to a mixed martial artist you met on Tinder, then perhaps you know the difficulty of which I speak. In order to keep my resolution, I had to take some radical action. I had to clear the roster and start anew. I ended a couple of situationships that have been dragging on for far too long. I deleted the names and numbers of emergency hook-ups from my phone, andI sexually detoxed my life and felt rather proud of myself. None of those relationships were particularly healthy or satisfying. I recognised that I had fallen into the pattern of prioritising their needs over my own, so I cut them all off. However, it very quickly dawned on me that by deleting the contact information of all the people I have sex with, I didn’t have anyone left to have sex with. I would have to start dating again, and I tell you now, dear reader, I simply did not have the strength. I have been dating on and off for the last 27 years and I can’t face sitting in a Wetherspoons, telling another man what my favourite film is or where I grew u
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