Dating was equal parts romance and business during the early 19th century period depicted in Jane Austen novels and the Netflix series. Here’s how it really worked.
Courtship could be complicated during the London Season—when British high society's most eligible spouse-seekers came to town to find a match. One way that Regency-era couples gauged their compatibility was through writing letters to one another.
Once you were ready to seek a spouse, the London Season’s balls and assemblies created opportunities to meet people. Arguably the greatest stage in the marriage market was Almack’s Assembly Rooms, where some of society’s most eligible spouse-seekers came to dance and socialize. Regency chronicler Captain Rees Howell GronowAlmack’s Assembly Rooms, pictured here, was the epicenter of courtship in the Regency era.
Compatibility was especially crucial in a world in which divorce was rare. As Holloway emphasizes, “Divorce required an act of parliament. Once you were married, that’s it. So it really was important to make the right choice because your happiness depended on it.”Once a potential spouse had been identified, then the actual courtship might begin. The man would ask permission to begin courting, and the woman had the right to accept or refuse.
Sending and receiving letters was also a test of intention. “It was important to be a reliable correspondent because it showed that you were a reliable partner in life.”Gifts were a crucial part of courtship and ranged from books and perfume to highly symbolic presents like rings.physical gift because you’re literally giving part of your own body to another person. Hair never decays, so it’s a symbol of eternal love,” Holloway says.
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