This article delves into the joys and challenges of maintaining friendships across borders, using the British-Italian friendship between Alessia Franco and David Robson as a case study. Drawing on insights from cognitive science and their personal experiences, they explore the factors that contribute to strong cross-cultural connections.
What happens when we make friends across borders? Two writers talk about their British-Italian friendship – and the fascinating cognitive science on such cross-cultural bonds.as having "one soul dwelling in two bodies", but what are the challenges of stretching that bond across countries?
I first met David in one of Sardinia's remotest villages to record a series of short films exploring the forces behind its residents' extraordinary longevity. David was the host, and I was the producer. We had every reason to believe that, after our job was done, we would each return to our individual lives in London and Sicily without any further contact.
However, despite us scoring only five out of seven pillars, my bond with Alessia is very close. Does that mean some factors in Dunbar's list are more important than others? Research onRegular conversation – either face-to-face or remotely – predicts which friends are most likely to endure, but just as important are joint activitiesas they embarked on their first year at university – a time when we might expect a rapid transition of their social circle.
By now, we have both stepped into each other's worlds. I am happy to have discovered London with him. We took trips to sites in London associated with the life of Virginia Woolf, and visited Kensington Gardens, wheremocked adults and helped the lost children. I went to sleep savouring the fog and the cold – which, as a Sicilian, I should hate – while hugging a hot water bottle bought for me by my English brother.
One hundred and fifty years ago, Alessia and I may have written letters to each other. Today, we can respond instantly. In those moments, the distance between London and Palermo feels negligible
Relationships Culture CROSS-CULTURAL FRIENDSHIP INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS PSYCHOLOGY SOCIAL CONNECTION FRIENDSHIP
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