Sometimes all you want in life is to eat some green cheese slime in the middle of a busy Primark whilst listening to I'm A Believer, right?
There are sometimes situations where you have to contemplate your life choices and ponder on how you got to that particular point in time. And the day that I headed to the counter of a Shrek café in Primark to casually order a ‘Ogre’s Gourmet Grub’ was definitely among them.
On the menu, it’s basically toasted sandwiches, waffles, and drinks, with some Mexican cuisine thrown in for good measure - I’m not sure if it’s a particular reference I've forgotten about or just an easy option to serve up, but maybe Shrek and Donkey are partial to a good taco in-between saving Princesses.
The order doesn’t take too long to arrive, and, fair play to the members of staff, they remain part of the act throughout. You might imagine that working in a place like a Shrek Café could fill you with embarrassment, but the waiters are joyful, in on the fun and have no problem asking who is having the Swampchos without any sense of ridiculousness about the whole situation.
In-between slabs of the tortilla chips, we tuck into our drinks. Jenna’s Poison Apple bubble tea consists of an apple tea with cherry boba. It’s not as filled up with little bobas as the ones served across the many venues in town, but it looks the part. However, it’s an instant sugar rush and tastes a little like the cherry sweets in Haribo Tangfastics, but it’s perhaps a bit too sweet for a mid-week palette cleanser. If you were to give this to a child, you might deeply regret it.
Whilst looking good, it is slightly underwhelming. We compare it to an overly-milky brew, or when, as a kid, you didn’t put enough cocoa powder in your hot chocolate as the chocolate milkshake flavour is a bit too subtle, and could do with being a little more potent - despite the fact there is still a lot going on.
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