'I Had An Abortion After I Got Married - Which Seemed To Mean I Didn't Need Any Support'
BYBy the time I was in my mid-twenties I’d had a lot of experience of abortion. I’d sat with friends as they took tests, celebrated when they came back negative and helped call Marie Stopes when they showed two terrifying pink lines. But until my late twenties, I’d managed to escape the whole reproductive roulette thing personally unscathed.
I did not want a baby. I was not ready to have a baby. I was too young, too busy, too completely tangled in trying to build a career. I could barely afford to survive to the end of each month, let alone provide for a child. So many times I’ve sat with friends who are pregnant and talked them through their decision, never feeling the tiniest hint of judgement. And I firmly believe that if I had been unmarried, I’d have got the same reaction. But instead, because I was married people asked: why?
There was a voice inside my head which said it was wrong to abort a pregnancy created by love, a pregnancy with a person I one day wanted to start a family with. But there was another much louder voice which was screaming ‘I am not ready and I cannot do this’. The waiting room at Marie Stopes was filled with women and their partners, women in their twenties, thirties and forties, all grim faced and holding hands with their other halves. I was actually one of the younger women there.
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