The time has come for a new kind of marriage
Preparing us for marriage is, ideally, an educational task that falls on culture as a whole could, of course, be a little bit wrong for us. We don’t expect bliss every day. We know that perfection is not on the cards.
When first looking out for a partner, the requirements we come up with are coloured by a beautifully non-specific sentimental vagueness: we’ll say we really want to find someone who is “kind” or “fun to be with”, “attractive” or “upIt isn’t that such desires are wrong; they are just not remotely precise enough in their understanding of what we in particular are going to require
The feeling that we might not be too difficult to live with should set off alarm bells. The only people we can think of as normal are those we don’t know very well.
With such a poor level of understanding of our characters, no wonder we aren’t in any position to know whom we should be looking out for. In a wiser society, prospective partners would put each other through detailed psychological questionnaires and send themselves off to be assessed at length by teams of psychologists. By 2100, this will no longer sound like a joke. The mystery will be why it took humanity so long to get to this point.
There seems to be so much information to be gleaned from their eyes, nose, shape of forehead, distribution of freckles, smiles … But this is about as wise as thinking that a photograph of the outside of a power station can tell us the essentials of nuclear fission.
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