Why the Swiss tennis legend brings out our misguided love of a first name
Can there be a more irritating word in world sport than “roger”, specifically as it is applied to the dreamy stud-muffin of SW19? Do you know, I’m not certain there can. Not even “Lewis”, for motor-racing’s adorable, chin-strapped gas-guzzler. Or “Pep”, for the dishy daddy ofMake no mistake: those endearments are exceptionally annoying, too. But, like a double foot-fault deep into the fifth set, something about the promiscuous use of “Roger” really stinks the place out.
But Roger and Rafa, those glistening show-court himbos, they’ll always be on first-name terms with the world. Like Elvis, and Jesus. And— somebody please throttle me with a sweaty headband — Boris. But I think it’s something deeper, and weirder, and particularly male, that prompts all this uncomfortable Rogering. We know the soft-handed Swiss is catnip to glamorous women, as Anna Wintour and countless others will confirm. But I fear he means more, incalculably more, to a certain kind of chap. One who needs someone— preferably another man — to exalt, to rhapsodise, and, yes, to fancy a little bit.
But the reverence has turned to idolatry, and the super-managers’ thoughts are solicited, and received with worshipful respect, on all the issues of the day: not just the necessity of playing out from the back, but the government’s response to Covid, and how to stop racism, and improve the nation’s mental health, and end the culture wars, and address the climate emergency, and if any one of them was ever moved to tell us what to watch on Netflix we’d probably fall to our knees, weeping with...
How far will all this go? Could Roger end up as President of Europe? Might we like a silky continental for monarch? Are we ready for King Pep?
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