Mark Travers, Ph.D., is an American psychologist with degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides video and telephone psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching to individuals in over 40 countries worldwide.
Being single can elicit a variety of emotions. It can be empowering, distressing, lonely, joyful and frustrating—sometimes all at the same time. However, different people respond to it in different ways.
Highly anxious individuals exhibit traits such as excessive jealousy, suspicion and emotional volatility, which undermine their efforts to cultivate fulfilling connections. They may also exaggerate their hurt to receive reassurance from their partners. Due to their intense desire for intimacy, they tend to experience dissatisfaction with singlehood, longing for romantic partnerships yet grappling with fears of rejection and loneliness.
This avoidance of intimacy not only impacts their romantic relationships but also affects their psychosocial well-being, as they report lower satisfaction with interpersonal relationships and exhibit poorer mental health outcomes compared to securely attached individuals. While they may fare better than anxious and fearfully attached individuals in terms of their self-esteem, emotional instability and fear of being single, their overall satisfaction with life and interpersonal relationships remains lower than those securely attached, suggesting that while avoidance may offer temporary protection from emotional pain, it also hinders the depth of meaningful connections., oscillating between the yearning for intimacy and the dread of rejection.
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