Reader now feels guilty for not sharing her rape story with her husband.
He knows nearly everything about me. The last thing – the thing he doesn’t know – is my protected secret.Lately, I have felt guilty that I have not told my love this deep secret, not because it is painful for me to talk about but because I don’t know how to bring it up in a way that won’t make him feel blindsided, confused, or even angry.
My own take is that you might start by reframing – to yourself – the language you are using to describe your rape. You think of it as a “deep dark secret.” It is something you are hiding. And so no, you should not “position this and bring it up in conversation.” Rape is not something you bring up in conversation. It IS the conversation.
I suggest starting with: “I have something to talk to you about. This is hard for me and so I hope you’ll bear with me while I get through it. When I’m done, if you have questions, I’ll do my best to answer them.”
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