Journalist Kate Wills and psychologist Fiona Murden share advice for overcoming rejection.
Keep reading for their advice…“No one loves hearing ‘no’, but I found it particularly excruciating,” says Kate. “I never put myself out there for things. I would never apply for jobs; I've never asked for a pay rise or promotion. Even in my friendships and relationships I was really scared of putting myself out there and getting knocked back.
“I started to look online for tips on overcoming it and I got all of the usual things, like: ‘Don't take it personally’ or 'What's the worst that can happen?’ For me, it was just so difficult even getting a very polite ‘thanks, but no thanks’ email. I would immediately delete it and I'd wake up in the night thinking: ‘It’s so embarrassing that they didn't like that idea’. I was just filled with shame, basically, every time I got turned down.”1.
“At the beginning, it was awful. It was terrifying. I felt like I was about to do a skydive or something. I had a pounding chest and sweaty palms. I was like: ‘I'm not going to be able to do 30 days of it. How am I going to get out there?’ “It’s easier said than done, but also think about whether it’s someone whose opinion you actually care about,” says Fiona. “We often take onboard criticism from people whose opinion we don’t even care about. We have to make a conscious effort in order to counter it. So, try noticing if that’s what you’re doing and asking yourself how much you value the opinion of that person.”“If you get rejected, it's not a sign to run away and stop trying and give up and hide,” says Kate.
If you don't ask, you don't get. And if you don't try for things you want, you'll never know what's possible.
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