A Nottingham man accuses the city council of heartless treatment after tributes to his mother were removed from her grave without warning. Paul Mason says the council's new policy, set to begin in October 2024, is insensitive and disregards the emotional needs of grieving families.
A man has labeled Nottingham City Council 's treatment of his mother's grave 'diabolical' after tributes left in her memory were removed without prior notice. Paul Mason, 54, from Carlton Hill, lodged a complaint with the council after items were taken from his mother's resting place at Wilford Hill Crematorium cemetery. Mr. Mason claims he also encountered 'unsympathetic' treatment from a manager when he raised the issue.
His mother, Brenda, passed away in 1990 at the age of 55 and was laid to rest at the cemetery, where he visits her grave weekly. Mr. Mason noticed on February 2 that items placed on the grave, such as a plant box, a small bush, and a solar light, had been removed. A new policy set to take effect in October 2024 dictates that the council will remove all tribute items and flowers left on graves without giving loved ones any warning. After lodging a complaint with the council regarding the removal of the items, Paul was informed that signs had been posted on notice boards about the rules. He stated, 'No one's going to pay attention to a notice board in a graveyard, it's not the nicest of places to remember someone.' Mr. Mason also expressed concern about tire marks he observed on graves, attributed to the site's grounds team. Paul's father was the registered owner of the plot where his mother is buried, but he passed away eight years ago. Paul was not made aware by his father that ownership would need to be transferred, and the ownership lapsed around 2020. The council informed Paul that a letter was sent to the grave owner in October 2024 to inform them about the changes, but this would have been sent to his late father's outdated address. Paul questioned the lack of 'common sense' in the council's correspondence and why they hadn't attempted to contact another family member through a note left on his mother's grave. He said, 'Why would I tell the cemetery my dad's died, he's not buried there, he wanted to be cremated, why would I go to Wilford Hill? Not only have they driven over and damaged graves, they're picking on people like me that do look after the grave, they don't care about anything.' He further claimed that he received 'bolshy' responses to his complaints from a cemetery manager who was 'unsympathetic.' He said, 'Their attitude was appalling, they said 'we have a policy that if you don't own the grave, we can do what we like without permission.' It's the principle, it's diabolical, they think they can treat the graves like that, and grievers like that. The solace - they've taken that away from me. I find it quite offensive. I want to go to my mum's graveside on my birthday morning, I don't feel like I want to go, I feel like it's marred my presence of being here, I feel like I've been robbed, it really is quite heart-wrenching.' A Nottingham City Council spokesperson responded, 'We fully appreciate that this is a sensitive situation and we have been working with families for a number of years now and discussing options with them. There are two types of graves at our cemeteries: traditional graves that can have a headstone and larger kerbset, and lawn graves, which only allow headstones or an option for a smaller kerbset surround. All grave owners are made aware of rules about unofficial memorials and trinkets. This information is in the deed pack which is issued when a grave is purchased. This also includes ongoing projects – we are currently creating new grave spaces to accommodate the needs of the community. This requires the use of vehicles and equipment to carry out tasks efficiently and respectfully. Recent adverse weather conditions, including rainfall, frost, and occasional snow, have temporarily made the tracks more apparent. However, we want to reassure visitors that once our work is complete, all affected areas will be fully restored with topsoil and grass seed.
Nottingham City Council Cemetery Grave Tributes Policy Grieving Families Removal Complaint
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