This personal essay explores the author's journey from feeling ashamed of his body hair to embracing it as a symbol of self-love and confidence.
Standards of male beauty have been strangely hairless. As I danced un-self-consciously in the warehouse-like London gay nightclub, I noticed how the luminous green laser lights beamed down onto my shirtless, yet slightly sweat-saturated, torso.
The long chest hair I’ve now let grow was scrunched into tight curls that any period drama heroine would be envious of – yes, my chest hair is, basically, Elizabeth Bennet’s barnet – and every so often its sporadic silver streaks illuminated under the lights, glistening like an old but precious stone. Catching a glimpse, a fellow raver then smiled in my direction. I returned the smile and he then boogied up to me. Gently, with his handsome hazelnut eyes obtaining unspoken enthusiastic consent from my blue ones, he ran his hand through my Jane Austen-esque chest hair. ‘Mmmmm,’ he whispered as he stroked. ‘Love the fur.’ What happened next was too steamy for an Austen romance tale, but it made me feel something more powerful than merely being fetishised. It made me feel giddily validated. It’s been a long journey to such body confidence and self-acceptance, but I can now confidently say that I too love my body hair. Aged 25 I booked in for my first full chest wax. I was a very early developer and entered puberty humiliatingly young. I started shaving around the age of 13 and by the time I was 15, I had a full chest of hair. Back then I didn’t really know how to get rid of it, or even if I should. I just knew I didn’t want anyone to see it. I believed I was too young to carry such manly body developments. It felt weirdly premature, like those child beauty queens plastered in adult make-up. Except, without the beauty. I felt repulsive. At school I’d cover myself up in the changing rooms as if I was a woman caught without her bra on. Even then, that wasn’t enough to stop the taunts
Body Image BODY HAIR BEAUTY STANDARDS SELF ACCEPTANCE PUBERTY GENDER IDENTITY
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