I had the daunting realisation that I may just be poor.
Pranjali had never considered herself as ‘poor’, until now Palms sweating, heart racing, I frantically searched my mind for a response. ‘I… I have a class submission tomorrow,’ I stuttered eventually. ‘I’ll have to miss it. Sorry.’ Luckily, my friends seemed to accept this and the conversation quickly moved on. But inside I felt inadequate, ashamed. This was just the latest in a long line of ‘no’s’ that I had said to plans.
I began maintaining a weekly budget – allocating up to £25 for groceries and travel and an extra £10-20 a week for emergencies or unfathomable circumstances – meanwhile I had a friend who was quite open about spending £100 for one pair of jeans. It was the look of ‘what? Is this not normal?’ on his face compared to the look of total shock and horror on my face that made me rethink everything. That’s when I remember being filled with shame and also envy.
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