A Personal Perspective: Reunions aren’t just about reconnecting; they celebrate the powerful, lasting bonds from our formative years. Discover the importance of belonging.
When Debbie, my best friend from high school, recently emailed about arranging a 40-year reunion for our high school friends, I was filled with anticipation and. We got our driver’s licenses and cruised around town, feeling on top of the world. We supported each other through high school romances and breakups, both taking on outsized significance in our lives.
Here we are, 40 years later, about to meet up with the old gang. Although years have gone by during which I have not been in touch with many of my high school friends, I still feel a strong affection for each friend and a longing to reconnect.The tenacious bonds that we formed during those early years feel unbreakable. Our connections were not only a source of enjoyment and adventure but also a force that bolstered a sense of belonging.
, described belonging as an essential need and a sacred right. She writes,"Belonging begets belonging. When a person experiences belonging early in life—at school, at home, in a religious community, a sports team, or a neighborhood—that experience can become a touchstone for the lifelong work of finding social connection, rootedness, and meaning. So, it’s essential to invest in young peoples’ experience of belonging and to reinvest continuously" .
Research by Baumeister et al. highlights the fundamental human desire to establish and maintain enduring interpersonal relationships, emphasizing the importance of feeling connected, needed, and valued by others. This need for belonging becomes particularly crucial during adolescence, as social relationships outside the family gain importance and significantly influence positive adjustment. Additionally, the sense of belonging has a direct impact on academic performance.
This is not meant to idealize adolescence, which inevitably is filled with angst, insecurities, and struggles with the process of individualization. It is common during these formidable years for there to be conflicts and fallings-out with friends along the way. I have undoubtedly forgotten much of the minutiae of my high school days; however, I recall more clearly than ever the sense of community and belonging.
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