Many straight therapists hesitate to engage with gay male clients... but the acceptance and support from a heterosexual clinician can be enormously healing. Here's how!
Peel back the layers—he may look good but that doesn’t mean he’s not hurtingAs I spend more time teaching mental health professionals about working with gay men, I continue to be appreciative of the vulnerabilities and questions that heterosexuals have for me. I’m always thrilled to have people interested in serving their clients best by asking me questions they may not feel comfortable asking out loud.
There exists something I think of as “behind-the-scenes work” that takes place when a gay man enters into therapy with a heterosexual clinician. You may be talking on the surface about the client’s reason for seeking you out; but the acceptance he will absorb in your tone will give him something bigger and far better than what he came in for.
In the professional world, gay men may feel compelled to excel. His job and his success may mask the feelings of inadequacy that he carries inside, and many therapists make assumptions connecting professional success with personal wellbeing.Here your job as therapist is to dig deeper. Ask about his coming out, his experiences of being bullied, who he told about experiences he interprets as shameful, and how he used these experiences to define himself.
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