Their 3-year-old has a strong preference for mom over dad, and it’s making these parents miserable.
For about a year now, our 3-year-old daughter has expressed an extreme preference for her mom when both parents are present. When her dad tries to care for her or even speak to her, she will yell at him, close doors on him and throw a tantrum for only Mom to help her. She will say she does not love or like her dad. We try to hold boundaries on Dad helping, and we talk a lot about being kind to him, but sometimes it’s just easier for Mom to handle her to keep the peace.
It seems like this boils down to a toddler’s demand for control, but it is making all of us miserable. I thought it would be a phase, but it has not changed in at least a year. What can we do differently? We hate this.Thanks for this letter; you are certainly not alone in struggling with a child who has a strong preference for one parent over another.
You are encountering two overlapping developmental milestones. First, your daughter developed a preference for her mom because it’s natural; 3-year-olds cannot have many deep attachmentsTheir brains are set up for one thing at a time: one big feeling, one main attachment, etc. This doesn’t mean that they aren’t attached to others, it just takes time to warm up to them — for some children, this takes longer than others — and “switch” to this person.
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