Wayne and Wanda differ on the source of this conflict, and give contrasting advice on the issue.
I need some tips for navigating a bump in my relationship. My girlfriend is always late. When we first started dating, I let it slide. It was early days and everything was going so well, I didn’t want to seem nitpicky. She’s fun, adventurous, kind, and dependable — eventually, anyway. She always follows through and shows up, it’s just on tape delay.
I was raised that being on time is a matter of respect. I am a big fan of schedules and am usually early when I’m expected to be somewhere. As an example, if I’m running behind, I’ll skip getting coffee so I’m on time for a meeting. She will get coffee and show up late because she “needs” coffee. So some of this is just minorly selfish behavior and poor time management. She insists it isn’t intentional — she just is “bad at knowing how long things will take.
What does that effort look like? Well, she hasn’t had the best luck mastering time management on her own, so connect her with the tricks, tips, tools and technology that are here to help. It’s amazing what setting alarms can do to keep one on track — whether it’s a reminder to check a map app for real-time route info, or a reminder to walk out the door. She should set these alarms earlier than actually needed, so a built-in buffer gives her cover should she run slow.
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