'Why I risked my mental health for an acne cure by taking Roaccutane'
4 Aug 2019,WALKING through the airport with my friend Charlotte, I noticed a man staring at us. Then he announced loudly that Charlotte was “far more beautiful” than me because she was “fresh-faced”, while I was “slathered in slap”.
When I looked in the mirror I felt so ugly, and one morning in September 2014, I broke down. Tearfully, I told my housemate Delia how crappy I felt and how I didn’t even want to leave the house unless I had make-up trowelled on. I knew it couldn’t be good for my skin, but I was just so ashamed of how I looked – something I’d never felt before.
In desperation, I went to my GP a few months later, who put me on the contraceptive pill to combat the acne. While my skin cleared up, I gained half a stone in a few weeks and felt more emotional than usual, so I stopped taking it after six months. Before, it had been unsightly whiteheads, but this time it looked like an angry rash across my cheeks with cysts all over my face. It made me feel so uncomfortable, I no longer let Mark see me without make-up and stopped going out with him or my friends. With my confidence at rock-bottom, our relationship broke down in May 2016.
These seem to work for a while, but I was told I’d likely only ever be acne-free if I took Roaccutane, a controversial anti-acne drug. I’d heard stories aboutlinked to 20 suicides in the UK between 2012 and 2014I couldn’t bear the thought of spending the rest of my life with acne, so despite the warnings I went ahead with treatment in August 2018. By then I was seeing Talal, 31.
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