A Personal Perspective: As a teenager, I was always longing to have graduated from college, but after developing schizophrenia, I badly wanted to go back in time.
I am an advocate for schizophrenia recovery and know what it is like to live with the diagnosis. As I meet struggling families who contact me for advice and support, I understand the challenges and loss their loved ones face. I remember in 2007, it really looked like I would never recover and a return to school would not be possible. Every day I grieved for what I had lost, and was desperate to go back in time. But today, I have peace and live in the present..
In high school, I also did well academically. At 15 years old, I started a special program, enrolling as a full-time college student at the Cleveland area’s Lakeland Community College. I was able to take classes including calculus, economics, literature, general chemistry, and even music theory. Because students at Lakeland wanted to be there, there were no behavior problems. It was exciting to have professors, rather than high school teachers, for all my classes.
Ravaged by schizophrenia, not only would I drop out of USC, but would become homeless for four years in the LA area. Convinced that I did not need my degree, instead I believed my delusions and expected to become a prophet.I find it ironic that I spent so many years looking ahead to my future. But once I got there, I was unable to enjoy it. Then, after developing schizophrenia, I found myself constantly looking back to the past.
As I write this, I would like to say I am deeply grateful for my recovery thanks to treatment. And at the same time, I do stand in solidarity with young people who are grieving over what they have lost.
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